My forums just gone off line

Is MySQL running? That's the first thing I would check. If it is, make sure you can log in to it manually from something like phpMyAdmin or directly on the command line.

Trying hitting it on the side a few times - that always works with an old blender we have in the kitchen.

Or maybe try providing some REAL details on your setup so people won't have to play 20 questions prying the info out of you.